When the Universe Sends a Sh*t Storm (And How to Make it Your B*tch)

You know when life just decides to turn up the heat and see how much you can take? That’s where I’m at right now. Call it a dumpster fire, a hellish series of unfortunate events, or (my personal favorite) mother trucking nuts. Lately, it feels like the universe has been pulling every trick in the book to test me.

I’ll admit, I’ve muttered, “Hey, universe, maybe quit sh*tting on us?” But here’s the truth: these chaotic times are where the character-building happens. Am I being tested? Oh, hell yes. But without making it through all this madness, how would I know what I’m truly capable of?

Here’s the road that led me to today:

• Changes at work —we’re talking bumblebees-in-my-chest levels of stress.

• Kora gets appendicitis: A week in the hospital, and yes, I was still trying to post to social media for work on Day 1. Nope. Had to let that go real fast.

• Two weeks of hospital stress and sleepless nights: Just when I thought things were calming down, she spikes a fever, we’re sent to the ER, and it turns out to be “bad luck.” Oh, and the world’s worst diaper rash? Surprise—it was strep.

• Then I get strep, too—the normal kind.

• MRSA for Kora, bronchitis for me, and a stroke for my father-in-law, because the universe decided to really pile it on.

After sharing all this with my cousin, she hit me with some wisdom: “Maybe the universe is telling you to slow down. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time.” Mic. Drop.

Finding My Way Through the Sh*t Storm

Sometimes, if we don’t slow down, the universe will do it for us. I didn’t get the memo, so here I am learning the hard way. Even with my anxiety meds, therapy sessions, workouts, and La Croix, I still found myself dry-heaving from panic attacks and losing clumps of hair.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing the work of two people to prove I deserve every penny of my paycheck. Maybe it’s the “side gig,” book writing, launching a new business and renovating a pole barn. Or maybe it’s just that I can’t stop myself from saying, “Let me know how I can help!” when I have exactly zero capacity left.

I’ve always described my anxiety as bumblebees in my chest and ping-pong balls in my head. I let that chaos become my “normal” and got frustrated when my body finally said, “Enough!”

So here’s how I’m moving forward to get things back on track and, yes, make this whole mess my b*tch.

Small Steps to Reclaim Sanity

• Setting Consistent Schedules: For myself and the kids. Instead of cramming as much as possible into each day, we’re doing more of what we love and focusing on the non-negotiables.

• Cutting Screen Time: Less doom-scrolling. More “look, mom!” moments at ninja class and ballet. Now, every time they look to see if I’m watching…I actually am.

• Eating at Home More: As a contractor, less work means less income, and that’s okay. A wise friend told me, “Your kids will survive if they live off PB&Js and chicken nuggets for a while.”

• Being Honest About How I’m Doing: When someone asks, I don’t fake it. Saying, “Not great, but could be worse,” has opened the door to blessings I didn’t know I needed—kind words and reminders that I’m not alone in this mess.

• Blasting Holiday Music: Nothing like dogs barking Jingle Bells to get you through the muck. The day after the mind-bending presidential election I had Michael Buble and Christmas lights in full effect.

• Laughing (A Lot) and Finding Joy in the Little Things: Through the chaos, my husband Brandon and I are giving more hugs, laughing at poop jokes (even though we try not to), and clapping for our kids’ little performances in the living room.

Moving Forward with a New Perspective

“I know things are tight right now and that’s scary and frustrating,” a friend said, “but you will not only survive this bump, you’ll make it your b*tch.” And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Life will throw curveballs (or flaming dumpsters) your way, but these are the times that teach us resilience. So, here’s to slowing down, navigating through the chaos, and finding joy in the most unexpected places. If you’re out there in the thick of it too, remember: you’re not alone. And no matter how dark it seems, you’re stronger than you think.

Now, excuse me while I cue up Mariah Carey and tackle whatever curveball comes my way next.✌️